Now… I’m not saying anabolic steroids were not used… but…
Christian Bale lost 60lbs, down to a weight of 120lbs, to perform as the quite gaunt main character of The Machinist.
The next movie he did was Batman Begins.
He… gained 100lbs, of muscle… in … somewhere between 6 months and a year.
Steroids or not, he had an insane workout routine, and gaining 100lbs of muscle in under a year is… also fucking insane, as in, it probably should have killed him.
If at first you don’t succeed, remove all evidence that you ever tried.
Thanks, I needed this
It’s all part of the grindset.
4:00 AM: wake up
4:01 AM: ice cold shower. Use Lava soap on your entire body. Does it hurt? Good.
4:06 AM: breakfast. Blend 6 raw egg yolks, 1L scoop of Mazuri Primate Growth & Repro gorilla feed, one can of Monster Ultra Zero, and 4x the recommended creatine for your weight
4:09 AM: sprint around your house punching walls and letting out defeating kiai
4:29 AM: inject steroids
4:30 AM: lift. 120 sets of two half-reps back, arms, chest.
5:30 AM: rest 5:30:30 AM: that’s enough rest, soy boy. Legs and squats, 120 sets of two half-reps.
6:00 AM: get dressed in a Big Dogs T-shirt and jorts.
6:02 AM: leave for work. On foot. In the street. Barefoot. Take a pocket full of sparkplugs and smash the windows of every car that gets within arm’s length.
6:45 AM: arrive at office. Visit every break room and throw away any donuts or cakes you find. Inspect lunches.
7:00 AM: clock in
7:01 AM: do email. Berate everyone you come into contact with. If they haven’t made any mistakes, bring up old ones. Assert your dominance.
7:10 AM: go AWOL with an autoclicker running and hit the gym
7:11 AM: inject steroids
7:12 AM: start deadlifting. If you’re not comfortable with the weight, lift it till you are. If you’re comfortable with your weight, add more. Don’t be a fucking pussy. Make sure to throw the weight at the floor every time, don’t just drop it like a beta.
1:25 PM: leave gym. Scream as loud as you can directly into a cardio bunny’s ear on the way out.
1:30 PM: lunch. Boiled chicken with broccoli and oatmeal. You don’t eat rice anymore. Add one full bottle of Carolina reaper sauce. If you don’t use the whole bottle, put the leftovers in your fucking purse.
1:35 PM: start shitting to expel breakfast. I didn’t say go be an obedient little boy who meekly goes poopy in the toilet like society commands, be a fucking man and shit where you please without warning.
1:40 PM: use a coworker’s desk phone to call in a bomb threat to a random police station.
1:42 PM: push-ups to failure.
2:00 PM: get money. Close deals and make decisions.
3:45 PM: leave early. Tell the receptionist to clock you out later or you’ll piss in her car’s air intake again.
3:46 PM: piss in her car’s air intake anyway
3:47 PM: inject steroids
3:48 PM: start listening to the Bible in Georgian in your left ear and Wagner in your night ear, and hit the gym
3:50 PM: nude squats. Fart boisterously.
4:50 PM: leave for home.
5:35 PM: arrive home and enter through the highest window. Free climb your house to get there.
5:36 PM: start gooning
3:55 AM: go to sleepI see you’re taking it slow. There are 5 minutes of break time where you could inject steroids while consuming creatine.
Needless to say, any gap time is spent jelqing and mewing while spamming racism online with your other hand.
Can I use other steroids instead?
If you use estrogen, it probably won’t help with the type of gains people try to get from lifting, but other gains are possible.
Thats why I never eat at arby’s, they raise their beef without steroids or hormones. how else am I supposed to get my pump?!
