Impersonating a defense attorney.

Building a house in the woods without planning permission.

Assault, battery, torture, stalking, breaking & entering, trespassing, destruction of property, illegal search & seizure, tampering with evidence, aiding & abetting, reckless driving, speeding, operation of an unlicensed vehicle, unlawful interception, child endangerment, unlawful imprisonment, conspiracy, and, of course, vigilantism

But absolutely zero murder

Bringing democracy to the wider galaxy.

Beating wild animals into submission, capturing them and putting them to work in a shack I built in the woods.

Rolling up the contents of a town into a big, sticky ball.

Placing a billion conveyor belts, strip mining a planet with no regard to the pollution I caused, and full scale genocide against the native bugs who already lived there.

Sorry, biters, I gotta launch my rocket.

Trafficking humans, putting them in tiny 1x1m cages where they cannot sit, force them to do cheap labour, separate their children at birth, and kill them if they are too expensive…

Fuck I love Minecraft!

Turning the universe into paperclips

Food was very sparce so I had to butcher the last prisoner we had. And we didnt even get much meat, he was missing both legs and an arm from the raid he came with.

Probably for driving truck into car while being drunk. (the former in game, letter in RL).