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Although there are many improvements to be made, like international euro rail connecting the capitals, better prices, a reliable DB and most importantly EU standard track system, I love our euro rails.
But I’ve gotta confess, the fact the US train is called Marc is kinda cool.
“Hey, I wonder where Marc is. Is he coming?”
“Nah men, Marc is completely derailed again. He burned down an entire town and he’s toxic AF.”
Well at least Marc never comes prematurely.
Don’t forget BART and DART as well.
marc this, marc that, I don’t believe your train-boyfriend exists, mary. prove it or stop talking about him.
MARC is unfortunately only a regional train for Maryland, and he is very limited on the weekends… The national passenger train system is called Amtrak.
Oooh, is he Swedish?
…that’s the shanghai maglev
edit: it was built by siemens though, so get a few euro wank points.
It’s a nice train, that must be like the capital of Europe?
Don’t give Xi any ideas
As an American living in a region with halfway decent (by American standards) public transit, I feel like I hear more comments aligned with the European side than the American side. If public transit has literally any downsides, that’s justification enough to drive for so many people.
Although the US and Europe are nearly identical in area, Europe’s population centers are far more uniformly distributed. Big cities in America are mostly around the edges, with a vast, sparsely populated area in the middle. Most intercity train service in America is in that fringe, where the spacing between cities is more like in Europe.
And yet we don’t have true hsr in the northeast, where the big cities are…
or california. for… some reason.
True, but the post is about trains being on schedule (or showing up at all), not about speed. I wasn’t saying US trains service is as good as European.
Yeah, I just see that said a lot and think its a bad excuse for having bad service.
Especially when we had much better service 100 years ago, with a fraction of the modern day population.
if public transit isn’t very good at eating me out, I need to buy a ford T1000 P!E!D!E!S!T!R!I!A!N!M!U!T!I!L!A!T!O!R! and roll coal.
Baby, people call me a 2-8-0 Locomotive. I can take you places that you never thought of.
Japanese transit users: “Don’t worry, we can grab the next one. It will be here in 48 seconds.”
“in precisely 48 seconds”
We deeply apologize that it took the train 49 seconds to arrive. We have prepared notes for your boss in case you’re late, and there will be a half page ad in tomorrow’s paper confirming our CEO has committed seppuku to atone.
committed sudoku*
Whilst wearing a seifuku
Chef’s kiss
Spock: Forty eight point three seven seconds, Captain.
The problem with trains is they are public (under)founded. The rich and powerfull with political influence don’t want working public transportation because less carsales, oil, gasoline etc.
Which explains why Musk prevented a high speed train in the US with his hyperloop. We all need to buy EV"s which have most of the downsides of traditional cars.
When we could have clean, fast and comfortable public transportation.
EDIT: Spelling.
That’s not a problem with trains; that’s a problem with the rich and powerful having political influence.
Which is why he
preventeddelayed a high speed train in the US. To my knowledge, they are still constructing it.Just checked: it’s still underway. 119 miles currently under construction. From Bakersfield to Madera, with most of the rail near Madera completed.
Because everyone dreams of ending up in Bakersfield…
American public transit varies widely, ranging from better than driving to comically horrible.
European trains varie from “very good” to “a guy wearing a full snail costume outran a train”. True story that one, happened in hungary.
Trains specifically are bad on shared lielnes because passenger trains are lowest-priority rail traffic, so you can get delayed for days at a time.
As an American, I don’t have access to trains, buses, bike lanes, sidewalks or even a shoulder on the road. The last time I tried to walk home from the tire shop two miles away, three people stopped to offer me a ride because it is that dangerous. I live inside the 275 loop that runs around Cincinnati.
Yeah, my “Public Transit” option on google maps is entirely greyed out. This is my daily commute to work:
It’s always entertaining to see the Europeans go “lol just ditch your car, it has to start somewhere” like it wouldn’t require me to move my entire family across town, (and pay 3x as much rent to live in the city…) Like I don’t even have the option of taking public transit, because there are no connecting lines between my home and my job. Literally none. The nearest bus stop is almost as far away as my job, and it’s in the opposite direction.
And to be clear, that 2+ hour walk would be on a highway with no sidewalk. I’d be dead on day 1. If I wanted to avoid the highway, the walk would be closer to 4.5 hours; The highway is the only direct path.
That’s so sad that it’s just greyed out lol. Even google maps is like, nah you’re fucked dude
To be fair, Google Maps sucks ass in this regard. If you ever visit Europe, never EVER trust it for public transit information. Always look on the native apps and websites. Google Maps regularly offers me routes that either don’t exist anymore, not at that time or day of the week, unnecessarily require a group taxi somewhere or are simply extremely inefficient. Instead of a 95min travel it wanted me to go for a route that took 145 minutes the last time (luckily I knew it was bullshit).
Even FOSS apps that may acquire travel data through rather novel means will provide more accurate information than the billions of dollars available to Googles car heads.
require me to move my entire family across town, (and pay 3x as much rent to live in the city…)
(I’m an American BTW.)
I live in Utrecht, one of The Netherlands’ larger cities. I don’t even have a car anymore. I can reach any place in the city by cycling in 15min max. Planning a trip with Google maps often shows cycling to be as fast or even faster than by car. Amsterdam by train is 30min, train leaves every 10min. I can take my bike in the train or take a public transportation bike from any train station. Cars are stupid.
I lived a year in Nijmegen when I was younger, and later another year in Duesseldorf, so what you’re describing isn’t foreign to me. But where I live now there are no options other than car. If you don’t own one you need a friend with one or an Uber.
I did this math recently. To walk to work would take me either a 2 hour walk, a 17 minute drive, or a 45 minute bus ride.
Transit outside the actual city, of any kind, is pretty abysmal.
As a European I have to say, you are very optimistic about our train schedules.
I think watching Jet Lag let’s you see the full breadth of transit systems pretty well, because the whole game relies on it. Japan is amazing. A lot of Europe is good enough that you can get around, some great and some not so great. The US is so bad I don’t think either team bothered taking a train when they did the show there.
It’s funny (and accurate) that they keep getting fucked over by Deutsche Bahn.
As an American, I would say the same…except about the American train schedules.
The blind hope that somewhere in this world there is a functioning public transit system is all that keep me going some days. Let me have this
Japan is the MVP here. I live there and I literally have never seen a train not arrive exactly at the scheduled time. However “public” transport is privately owned so… Uh… Yeah, tradeoffs.
Given that it works so well, what are the negatives due to being private? Is it expensive to ride?
Is it expensive to ride?
Yeah. It also stops running at around 11 or 12 so if you stay out late you just might find you can’t get back home.
Tokyo I’ve heard. For sure not Europe. Halve of the scheduled trains didn’t run today in Belgium.
Switzerland is pretty good at well with trains.
I heard they are so good that they point it out in announcements when a delay was caused by foreign trains (Looking at you Deutsche Bahn)
Haha, DB also does this with foreign delays. I’ve been in a German train starting in Amsterdam that left 5 mins late - they mentioned it at every stop until Munich.
They were just happy it wasn’t them for once.
A swiss train operator excused the 30 sec delay
The german trains measure delays in 5 minutes intervals, everything under 5 minutes in punctual.
That’s still more trains than in the US
It’s a problem of reliability. If you need to be at work at 08:00 and your train is regularly late or getting cancelled, you can’t take the train to work.
Not to mention even a small delay could mess up the timing of taking the next bus/train. For not too busy routes it could mean waiting in the cold for half an hour… If that next bus has a good delay you could be there for almost an hour. (Totally not speaking from personal experience)
When I lived in New York there was a place I’d go sometimes that required 2 trains and a bus. On the weekdays it took about 40 minutes, but on weekends with the cumulative effect of less frequent service it was typically 2 hours, or longer depending on how quickly the first train came.
Halve of the scheduled trains didn’t run today in Belgium.
Only half were cancelled? Man, that sounds nice.
To be fair they’re striking because checks notes their special treatment is ending.
I’ve been in Vienna from time to time, and it’s pretty good, 365€/year for the pass that gets you buses, trams and subways with unlimited access and no turnstiles anywhere, you just go and enter
Schedules follow work hours and go from a subway every 2 minutes during peak hours to one every 15mins late at night
You have night line buses for weekdays and on Saturday night public transport doesn’t shut down
Coverage is good, you almost always have a bus or tram line less then 5 minutes of walking
There are bike sharing places with 20 bikes each ~1km apart and they cost 60 cents for half an hour, or e-scooters in the designed locations which are basically everywhere (but being owned by companies they cost so much more then everything else)
Ukraine wasn’t completely horrible… before 2022 :(
If you’re German, RIP in peace.
A German intern came to our american city and was flabbergasted that the trains here ran consistently.
I had a laugh since I always assumed it’d be the opposite.
Peak moments of MÁV (Hungarian State Railways)
- Soviet tractor overtakes train (2024): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5wkW1nKfJY
- Man in snail costume outruns train (2018): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WAY1sFM6yQ
- Passengers pushing the train to the station (2021): https://www.youtube.com/shorts/bNUWNxt-lyg
I hear Italian trains are very timely?
As an American, this is exactly correct. The last time I tried to take Amtrak the train literally did not show up and they told us they had no way to contact it and didn’t know where it was. After waiting many hours with no change in status I finally gave up. The last time I actually rode Amtrak it was multiple hours late and cost about the same as a plane ticket.
But, I bet the train didn’t fall apart in air, and didn’t crash because of overwhelmed ATC
Like, you lost the train? Did you look under the couch?
I think you may have Europe confused with Japan.
Deutsche Bahn will definitely proof that public transit in the EU isn’t necessarily…. there? Working? …
It’s definitely better than nothing but it doesn’t feel better than nothing.
I am here to represent the germans. The country where the only thing we agree about is, how fucking shit our trains are
I havent seen one company where “train didn’t come” isn’t a valid excuse for bring late. Like, no further questions.
There’s a classic that Irish rail used to pull out of their bag of shite excuses until they got slagged to death over it:
Leaves on the track.
No joke. C’mon now lads. In fairness though the train service in Dublin and inter-city is pretty reliable and reasonable.
My understanding is that leaves contain some compound(s) that, when wet and under the extremely high pressures that train wheels provide, becomes one of the most effective lubricants we know about. In other words, the brakes literally won’t do anything because you’ll slip-n-slide your way at the same speed you were going before.
Sounds like the Irish version of the german winter chaos. The very moment the first snowflake drops it’s total chaos, trains being terminated left and right due to an old railway switch that still saw Adolf freezing shut again.
I was late for a hair appointment because I missed the bus, and I swear they wrote it down in my file because every time I went back, for the next year they were like “So… Did you come by bus today?”
Also yeah no problem if your train doesn’t come once - but if it happens more than once it’s going to reflect badly even though it’s out of your control. You’ll start to get the comments “You should take the earlier one!” I travelled by bus with 2 transfers to college and it was ROUGH.
I used it every time it happened, very rarely when I just slept in. My boss also came by S-Bahn so he was late from time to time as well. Of course if we had an important meeting or a customer appointment we came in a whole hour early, to compensate for 3 train failures, which never happened. But if you came 20 minutes late on a regular Tuesday nobody cared that much (boring office IT job).
Wait, you guys have trains?
Wait, you guys have trains?
Depending on whether the stars are right. Or whether you need to cross the tracks - there’s always one when you need to cross the tracks.
there’s always one when you need to cross the tracks.
This, but you ever notice that it’s pretty much never passenger trains? This efficient mode of transportation is largely designed for and used by industry rather than for travel or commute. The exception is within big enough cities like DC and NYC to get from one side of the city to the other or anywhere between. Sure there are some trains that go between cities, but they’re largely unreliable because passenger cars yield to industrial freight, and so people are less inclined to opt for them over planes or cars, and so there are fewer trains available to go wherever you’re going in the window you’re trying to go. So you book a flight instead.
I’d take a long train ride over a road trip any fucking day. I don’t understand anybody who would rather drive than chill and read a book or play games or watch movies or nap.
Exactly, it’s not that the US doesn’t have trains, there are plenty. Lots of relatively small towns have rails going to or through them. The problem is that only a tiny fraction of them are passenger rail.
This, but you ever notice that it’s pretty much never passenger trains? This efficient mode of transportation is largely designed for and used by industry rather than for travel or commute.
Yet massive amounts of goods are shipped long-distance via truck anyway, clogging up highways and polluting far more per-ton and per-mile moved.
Truly the worst of both worlds! USA! USA! USA!
Got it, always cross the tracks
Stand on the tracks to summon the train.
The train needs a human sacrifice
Oh yeah, we have so many trains. They go everywhere, we have a very comprehensive network of them
Oh wait… Did you mean passenger trains?
We have trains that have lethal derailments every year or so.
Deutsche Bahn has entered the chat.
DB doesn’t hold a candle to VIA Rail. Germans and Europeans in general like to mock DB, and with reason, but as a Canadian, I’m still so very jealous of DB.
Due to [these] restrictions, 80 per cent of trips suffered delays of more than 10 to 15 minutes in February between Quebec City and Windsor, where the majority of Via trains operate. In January, 67 per cent of trains were late on the same corridor. Delays have been even greater between Quebec City and Ottawa this year, affecting 94 per cent of trains last month and 86 per cent in January.
DB uses this novel trick to avoid delays: they simply don’t count trains that don’t run at all as delayed. And then they also sometimes cancel trains for being delayed. They simply turn the train around before reaching it’s final stop so at least it’s somewhat on time running the other way.
Too early
As a DB user: “ha!”
50 minutes late due to a door malfunction.
american trains look better and nobody will ever pry that fact from my cold dead hands.
Where is this magical European place with trains that are only .5sec delayed? Our public transit authority considers train “on time” if they’re no more than 20min late…and still, less than 80% of trains are “on time”…
Austria, apparently.
compared to my area where we don’t even have busses, trains are a dream
It’s not like a BMW is more reliable.
Every BMW comes with a complimentary jar of blue electrical smoke. 💨
Does the blue electric smoke at least stay inside the jar while I’m leasing it?
Yeah, but you can be stuck in traffic in your BMW without needing to interact with the poors!
What the actual fuck are you talking about?
BMW’s are famously known to be in the workshop more often than on the road. My friend’s BMW had a type of self-cleaning oil. All he has to do is top off the oil once a month. Just ignore the stain on the parking lot, it’s not oil.
It’s a common stereotype in America, I guess periodic inspections are too expensive and they skip them.
In Germany BMW are considered quite reliable. Expensive to maintain but reliable.
