Suppose someone says āI hate having to change my carās motor oil and I hate the effect oil dependency has on the worldā, then I say āyou should consider getting an electric car, theyāre way cheaper and better than they used to beā.
Am I now on the hook to solve that personās car troubles forever? Do I have to plan every roadtrip for them so they can hit the necessary charging stations?
Likewise, if that person has a problem or it turns out that an electric car canāt meet their needs and they have to switch back to gas is it my fault? Is it the fault of every electric car owner for talking about them and advocating for them?
I donāt think you should be an asshole to someone asking for help on a forum (though thatās not what the tumble post above is even about? They just seem to be complaining about their technical issue being too hard or the explanations being too verbose?), but I do think that if someone went onto the electric vehicles community and posted āI live in the middle of Alaska and drive 400 miles uphill through the snow at -40 every day! How DARE you think EVs are ready for the mainstream!?!ā once a day like people do to Linux coms the EV people would start to get annoyed pretty fast.
Honestly, you shouldnāt just advise someone to get an electric car like that either. They might very well not be able to and know they arenāt able to. They may prefer we just get rid of cars all together in favor of rail travel.
Youāre kinda missing the point in the same way that people who suggest Linux do. People expressing frustration often arenāt looking for answers. Unsolicited advice is not wise to give, especially if you donāt articulate how it affects you. If youāre annoyed that people keep complaining, express that you are annoyed instead of trying to point to what you think is the solution. You might be wrong about problem or even the solution, but you wonāt be wrong about your emotions.
See, this is something I think I might be too autistic to understand.
Iām supposed to welcome people to niche communities, which I assume includes helping people with their problems, or else Iām being exclusive and elitist. But also sometimes people post about their problems without actually wanting help, and if you try to help them youāre being annoying. So, donāt help anyone unless they explicitly ask for help, even though in 99% of other situations someone implicitly asking for help means they want your help and its extremely rude to ignore them. I sure hope nobody having their problems ignored takes that as rude or elitist or exclusive.
If youāre annoyed that people keep complaining, express that you are annoyed instead of trying to point to what you think is the solution. You might be wrong about problem or even the solution, but you wonāt be wrong about your emotions.
The emotion I get as an autistic person trying to trying to interpret people saying the opposite of what they mean then being considered an asshole when Iām neurologically incapable of interpreting coded messages is that I want to kill someone and then myself.
I get that. Iāve always found it hard to not just tell people what to do, especially when I known Iām right. What helps me is framing things in terms of my own experiences. I donāt know other peopleās circumstances, but I do know my own. Outlining why something works for me helps them understand better than any advice I can give.
IDK, apply that logic to anything else.
Suppose someone says āI hate having to change my carās motor oil and I hate the effect oil dependency has on the worldā, then I say āyou should consider getting an electric car, theyāre way cheaper and better than they used to beā.
Am I now on the hook to solve that personās car troubles forever? Do I have to plan every roadtrip for them so they can hit the necessary charging stations?
Likewise, if that person has a problem or it turns out that an electric car canāt meet their needs and they have to switch back to gas is it my fault? Is it the fault of every electric car owner for talking about them and advocating for them?
I donāt think you should be an asshole to someone asking for help on a forum (though thatās not what the tumble post above is even about? They just seem to be complaining about their technical issue being too hard or the explanations being too verbose?), but I do think that if someone went onto the electric vehicles community and posted āI live in the middle of Alaska and drive 400 miles uphill through the snow at -40 every day! How DARE you think EVs are ready for the mainstream!?!ā once a day like people do to Linux coms the EV people would start to get annoyed pretty fast.
Honestly, you shouldnāt just advise someone to get an electric car like that either. They might very well not be able to and know they arenāt able to. They may prefer we just get rid of cars all together in favor of rail travel.
Youāre kinda missing the point in the same way that people who suggest Linux do. People expressing frustration often arenāt looking for answers. Unsolicited advice is not wise to give, especially if you donāt articulate how it affects you. If youāre annoyed that people keep complaining, express that you are annoyed instead of trying to point to what you think is the solution. You might be wrong about problem or even the solution, but you wonāt be wrong about your emotions.
See, this is something I think I might be too autistic to understand.
Iām supposed to welcome people to niche communities, which I assume includes helping people with their problems, or else Iām being exclusive and elitist. But also sometimes people post about their problems without actually wanting help, and if you try to help them youāre being annoying. So, donāt help anyone unless they explicitly ask for help, even though in 99% of other situations someone implicitly asking for help means they want your help and its extremely rude to ignore them. I sure hope nobody having their problems ignored takes that as rude or elitist or exclusive.
The emotion I get as an autistic person trying to trying to interpret people saying the opposite of what they mean then being considered an asshole when Iām neurologically incapable of interpreting coded messages is that I want to kill someone and then myself.
I get that. Iāve always found it hard to not just tell people what to do, especially when I known Iām right. What helps me is framing things in terms of my own experiences. I donāt know other peopleās circumstances, but I do know my own. Outlining why something works for me helps them understand better than any advice I can give.