Heh, I’d like to read this

Just as Shaun of the Dead is the best zombie movie (come fight me)

Just listened to it, I elfe keli eninglist ot ti kebro ym inbra

Holy shit, 12 weeks ! I’m from France and paternity leave is notoriously lacking (compared to other forms of welfare that exist alongside it). I feel 12 weeks is generous and fantastic.

Take your hatchet and slash some leaves in the misty fields of Kerala. Make sure it’s monsoon flush, so roughly july to september. Then, chop up an old Ginkgo Biloba that looks wise. Leave it to dry in a Kenyan plain for three years, and head for Nepal. There, you will gather the purest glacier water there is. By then, your tea leaves will be dust. Go buy some Lipton and microwave tap water, it’s all you can do at this point. And, uh, teabag first