

I’m not doing diagnosis. But, a psychologist that use “mildly autistic” should not be taken seriously on the topic. There is no level. The DSM 5 TR has level of support. It’s very different and these levels can vary from one moment to an other (even in the same day).
More about this in this journal article by Steven Kapp which is an autistic researcher.
You show “little empathy” in comparaison with what? The neuronormativity? This is already an issue. We don’t have to compare to neurotypical. We have to validate how autistics shows empathy, emotions, etc. Often, it’s by resolving problems. E.g.: This is making you sad so we resolve the problem and you will be better. Advocating for someone is another. Sounds similar to what you wrote about your wife. It’s often called “cognitive empathy”. This is entirely valid!
Yes.