Cousin Mose

I swear to God you can hear all the grease caked inside his body when he speaks. That wheezing, wandering, droning voice has had a few too many Big Macs.

Regardless of what it’s being used for, sending data to low orbit rather than across fiber optic will always have more latency.

It’s faster? For me it’s a lot faster to hit the share sheet and send a URL than it is to screw around with a screenshot (which is also larger and takes longer to send when using a slow VPN).

Don’t forget the latency and QoS that’ll probably be done haphazardly limiting everyone to just a sliver of the total available bandwidth.

As a web developer it’s when people want me to code ridiculous things because they don’t know how to use files, their OS or their web browser.

Recently someone complained to me that they’d like a dropdown to be sorted a very specific way (rather than alphabetical) because it’s “too hard” to scroll through the undesired options. They don’t realize that by doing that you would no longer be able to correctly tab into the field then type the first few letters of the desired option.

Or another user who reported that emailing documents wasn’t working because he could no longer email them to himself through the website. He could’ve simply downloaded the document using another link (right next to the email sending link) but refused to do so because he doesn’t know how to handle the file after downloading.

People who take a screenshot instead of sending a link. I don’t want to see your crusty shitphone or Windows UI, thank you very much.

Or, as a web developer: users who take a screenshot of a problem but completely exclude the URL and/or any other identifier I’d need to actually find the relevant record(s) so I can hope to reproduce the problem and find its cause.

Office on macOS in general. Shit looks horrible, it doesn’t respect the OS it’s running on:

1. Command + click on the title of a window (document) doesn’t reveal it in Finder
2. Cannot rename an open document (what in the Windows 95 is this shit?)
3. The Open/Save dialogs are soooo huge and sloppy
4. The huge IE 6.0-style toolbars with tabs are fucking atrocious
5. Some updater bullshit that runs in the background all the time and doesn’t use the trusty traditional framework or the App Store

Happy I don’t need to swap .docx files anymore, I do everything in Numbers and Pages these days.

And on macOS people not understanding that just because all the windows of an application are closed it doesn’t mean it’s not running.

I actually love this design because there’s no need for a window to be there while playing music for example.

Back when I’d fix people’s Windows machines the first thing I usually did was run a standalone VNC server and put that shit on Ethernet. I don’t want to touch your nasty Cheetos keys.

IT deploying the shit hole GlobalProtect instead of a “real” macOS .mobileconfig that can run as an actual service and be on 24/7. Also IT not black holing IPv6 on the VPN (since they don’t want to support it) causing all the traffic to leak outside the tunnel.

…at a software development company.

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