Not a parent but I read this and have my personal opinions, curious what others think about it.

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    3 hours ago

    Let them run and play and fall and get scrapes, yes. Don’t be a helicopter parent. But when other people are around, respect the social contract.

    I witnessed a dad (friend of a friend at a group dinner) nearly get in a fist fight because someone asked him to corral his kids that were interfering with their meal. Madness.

  • pastermil@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    6 hours ago

    I say fuck people like this. And if you are people like this, then fuck you too.

    Public space is for public, not just your kids. If you let your kids run wild, then you are sacrificing other people’s freedom.

    Also, this is how entitled little bitches are created. Do you want your kid to be an entitled little bitch?

    • wabasso@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      4 hours ago

      I’m on the fence. It’s a pretty subjective topic no? Public spaces will always have conflict due to many people have many preferences.

      • meep_launcher@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        edit-2
        3 hours ago

        I teach kids, and a lesson I have with them is on “context”.

        The game of tag, is it good or bad?

        Well, on the playground it is good, really fun actually!

        But in music class or at the library? It’s really bad.

        The game didn’t change, the context did. Same goes with parenting imo. In fact I’d go so far as to say that teaching your kids to be considerate of the spaces they are in is a good thing.

        I grew up with my mom telling us to keep our hands behind our back when going into an antique store or to be polite at the dinner table, and I was always invited to dinners and nice places by my friends parents because they knew I’d behave.

  • Empricorn@feddit.nl
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    28
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    8 hours ago

    I hate to sound like an old person with my “people these days rant”, but it’s just people being inconsiderate, and it’s everywhere. People stand in doorways and elevators, make people behind them on the road wait while they turn from the wrong lane, cut in lines, run red lights because they don’t want to wait, etc.

    This is simply people being selfish and not wanting to parent, there’s no difference. There are places where kids can run wild and be themselves, but it’s not literally everywhere. Remember that the end goal is to raise not a child, but an empathetic, functioning member of society. So start teaching them early…

  • maxalmonte14@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    41
    ·
    8 hours ago

    The author admits to have let their kids, who are 2yo and 4yo roam free in restaurants to the point they have ended up in the kitchen, that right there tells you how responsible of a parent she is and how good of an approach hers is.

  • PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    15
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    7 hours ago

    The author’s critical approach to what is ‘polite’ is all well and good, but I have reservations about what she considers the limit.

    As for the ‘doing no harm to others’, she must recognize that the harm her children do may not be readily apparent. When I’ve got a massive migrane, I don’t want to hear her kids screaming in the next booth over, but I also don’t want to have to confront her about it and risk her screaming also. Better to sit and suffer until I can’t.

  • Libb@jlai.lu
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    7 hours ago

    My opinion?

    I doubt such a person will ever be able to realize public space is not hers and is not there for her to use as she pleases. Public space is, well, public and shared between everybody and as such must be used with consideration to others. What would that incredibly tolerant (towards herself/her kids) lady say if I was to, say, come sit right next to her and loudly fart while she is eating her sandwich?

    She can let her kids splash (and fart as loudly and) as much as they/she wants in her own home. Heck, she can even let them burn her house down if she thinks it’s good for them. But what will she say the day her kids get hurt doing some stupid shit like that?

    Does she really need a fucking ‘handbook’ to understand the cosmic level of stupidity she’s reaching for? That’s so unbelievably clueless and egoistical. But whats so sad is to realize it’s not even surprising anymore.

    I will have one last thought for those poor kids, just imagining the kind of teens and young adults she’s preparing them to be :(

  • sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    54
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    10 hours ago

    I’m a parent and do not agree with this approach. Everyone should behave in public - and kids should practice so they can learn. At home, my kids get to behave like animals and we do things where they can behave like kids, like trampoline park, zoo, the arcade, etc. When we are out at places where the kids should behave, we bring them iPads and headphones so they are able to make it through the activity. But it is just rude to let your kid intrude and ruin a dinner, museum, movie, etc for others.

    • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      28
      ·
      10 hours ago

      They had to use a lazy Photoshop of kids running wild in a museum, because literally any museum can, should, and would kick them out immediately.

      Not reading the article (why is an article even posted here) but the author is at best writing an article they know will piss people off.

      It’s rage bait, which is likely why OP posted it

      • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        8 hours ago

        If you actually read it (or at least half of it, it was too long for me to finish) the author isn’t letting them play tag in a museum or anything crazy like that. There are people that do that kind of stuff, and there are limits to how wild your kids should get, but the author sounds like a reasonable parent comparing themselves to an unreasonable standard that they assume others are comparing them to.

        • wabasso@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          4 hours ago

          That was my take as well. She even closes with asking us if we’re reacting to actual problems, or just what people perceive as problems (in other words, spirit or letter of the “law”).

  • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    8 hours ago

    Don’t have to deal with this anymore, because mine are all at least tweenage.

    It’s a balancing act, and sometimes running around a little is fine this day in this space, but not another day in a similar space.

    I’m not going to act like I’ve never given my kids an iPad to keep them quiet for a while, but it would be refreshing to see MORE kids playing trains and Hot Wheels instead of sitting in front of a screen.

    It’s much harder for the kids to create their own fun when a device just spews nonstop entertainment at then. Why use your own imagination, when there’s always someone else’s available to watch, play, listen to?

    There’s a HUGE gray area between “children should be silent and invisible” and “HOW DID YOU GET ON THE ROOF OF WALMART?!?”. Neither of those extremes are good, and sometimes, as parents we learn during or afterwards that maybe this wasn’t the best place to play Hot Wheels. But a lot of the time, it’s not hurting anyone.

  • Ledivin@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    32
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    10 hours ago

    I understand the thought process and agree to a point - kids are definitely on too tight of leashes these days.

    That said, everything I read in that article tells me that the author is a fucking horrible parent and I wouldn’t want to ever be in 1000 feet of her demons.

    Yes, your kids should have some freedom. No, they shouldn’t actively be bothering everyone around them every moment they’re out of the house. Teach them respect and kindness, too.

    • SgtAStrawberry@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 hour ago

      A bit hyperbolic but something I have noticed in a lot of this parenting style tips are that either the kid needs to be padded up head to toe on a leash glued to their parent 24/7 or they should be allowed run wild screaming at the top of their lungs at restaurants and museums.

      There is very little in-between, unless you find the sane person in the comments. Kinda like a lot of things nowadays, sadly.

  • KoboldCoterie@pawb.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    27
    ·
    11 hours ago

    Some of these seem fine, some of them not so fine. Letting kids run around at a restaurant? I’d call that not fine. Other people are paying to be there and they probably don’t want to deal with your kids running around and past their table. The concerns about servers tripping over them are real, even if it’s not actually happening. I suspect the servers would prefer not to have to dodge someone’s kids to prevent that from happening.

    The fountain? Not a problem, no one was being inconvenienced there, no one was paying to be there and having their time disrupted. They weren’t creating a dangerous situation.

    The barbecue? Not a problem, they were invited, presumably by someone who understands what they’re getting into, and they can be uninvited, or not invited next time if it’s a problem.

    Bottom line is, there’s places where it’s appropriate to let your kids run around and be wild, and there’s places where it’s not, and if your kids aren’t capable of not doing it in places where it isn’t appropriate, that’s a problem.

    Just look at any public restroom, where the sinks are too high for them to reach

    Well, maybe your two-year-old isn’t entitled to low sinks in a public restroom not specifically designed for children (e.g. at a school)? That shit costs money, why would they install low sinks just so kids who amount for a tiny percentage of the users can use them without parental assistance?

    • ted@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      10 hours ago

      The bathroom thing just illustrates that we don’t accommodate kids in our society. There are probably more kids in the population who could use low sinks than you see because our public spaces are so hostile to them.

      It’s more common in Europe (e.g. Sweden) for folks to bring their kids everywhere, and the physicality of those locations accommodates them because they are more present.

      The bathroom argument that you made is akin to saying that folks shouldn’t feel entitled to bike lines / safe sidewalks because our cities were designed for cars and sidewalks and bike lanes are expensive for a tiny percent of the moving population.

      • KoboldCoterie@pawb.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        13
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        9 hours ago

        Wouldn’t it be easier to have stools available that a kid could pull up to the sink to use a normal height sink, than to have sinks that are exclusively useful by kids?

        The bathroom argument that you made is akin to saying that folks shouldn’t feel entitled to bike lines / safe sidewalks because our cities were designed for cars and sidewalks and bike lanes are expensive for a tiny percent of the moving population.

        Bike lanes are installed by the government using taxpayer funding. Bathrooms (in non-public spaces) are installed by private companies. Difference in expectations there, for sure.

  • AtomicHotSauce@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    19
    ·
    10 hours ago

    Our 5 kids are grown, but there’s no way in hell I’d have let them run wild. When parents do that, it is one of the most annoying things about going places in public. It seems every time we go to eat someplace, a family with a gaggle of rowdy kids gets seated immediately near us.

      • AtomicHotSauce@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        5 hours ago

        I appreciate that. And our “not allowing our kids to run wild” thing never involved being authoritarian, either. We just tried to raise them to be respectful of others and, whaddya know? It worked! We have some very respectful and wonderful grown adult kids!

  • Porto881@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    22
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    11 hours ago

    An unintended side effect of making backyards a luxury item, public spaces a pay-to-play, and community playgrounds homeless shelters

  • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    10 hours ago

    My questions to the author would be:

    “what happens when your kids get hurt because they were someplace kids weren’t expected to be, or doing something they weren’t expected to be doing?” Do you, the parent, rush to their aid and castigate the adult that was near them or that was the initial cause of the physcial harm? Do you apologize to the adult instead? How about if they break things? Do you immediately open your wallet and start handing out cash or do you fall back on “they’re just kids” and let others shoulder the burden of property loss because your choices?

    • socsa@piefed.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      8 hours ago

      I saw this exact thing at the local brewery. Two kids chasing each other tripped someone carrying several glasses and both fell onto a pile of broken glass. The parents came over and started yelling at the man to watch where he was going. Others started saying it was the kids who caused the accident, and the parents backed down but clearly still thought they were right.

  • Demonmariner@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    7 hours ago

    The writer of the article is treating child rearing as if it requires PhD level child psychology. It doesn’t.

    A child’s behavior is almost always ok if it is safe, non-destructive, legal, and NOT OFFENSIVE TO OTHER PEOPLE IN THE SAME SPACE. It doesn’t even matter if the other people’s idea of “offensive” seems reasonable or not. If their children are bothering others, a responsible parent will either curb their behavior or take them elsewhere.

    The writer apparently doesn’t understand that last part.

    • curiousaur@reddthat.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      7 hours ago

      Yes it absolutely does matter if other people’s idea of offensive seems reasonable.

      If it seems unreasonable my new game for that moment is to see how much I can offend them without breaking any laws.