• Allero@lemmy.today
    14·
    23 hours ago

    I think it actually covers two different scenarios.

    There are cases of men not listening to women and what women have to say (and vice versa, let’s not forget that). Those can be women’s rights issues, personal struggles, just everyday things etc. etc. - something people need or want to share.

    And there are cases of women (and sometimes men, too) intentionally putting an enigmatic air because they think they are more attractive this way, or because they don’t know how to approach things in communication, or because of anxieties.

    Or, often times, people don’t say something because they expect a negative reaction, commonly by extrapolating from their beliefs about a wide group of people, so even if someone’s actually willing to listen, it will never get there.

  • pH3ra@lemmy.ml
    123·
    23 hours ago

    Me: “Ok I’m listening, what do you want to say?”
    Every woman I met in my life: “Nothing…”

    • varyingExpertise@feddit.orgEnglish
      8·
      22 hours ago

      To be honest, it wasn’t until my late thirties that I finally mastered the crucial skill of identifying my own needs and transforming them into clear, appropriate communication. Before that breakthrough, I constantly defaulted to avoiding conflict—thinking “I shouldn’t bother anyone,” “I’m not entitled to make requests,” or “my primary role is ensuring everyone else’s happiness.” This self-effacing approach actually made me difficult to be around, as the unresolved internal conflict was painfully obvious to anyone with even minimal emotional intelligence. The irony is that in trying so hard not to inconvenience others, I created a more uncomfortable situation for everyone.

    • rumba@lemmy.zipEnglish
      33·
      20 hours ago

      Nothing: Translation: In my mind, I’ve made it abundantly clear what I want. You’re either not paying attention, or not focused on me enough to hear what I’m saying, now I’m mad enough that I fear I will start an argument if I need to spell it out again.

      Guy during that entire conversation: ADHD: where the hell did that other headphone go? I was wearing it yesterday when I was driving to work but I brought it home and I’m sure that I put it on the table there but, God I hope the dog didn’t eat it.

      • pH3ra@lemmy.ml
        34·
        19 hours ago

        In my mind, I’ve made it abundantly clear what I want.

        Every sentence that starts with “in my mind” is not objective, therefore there is no fault in a faulty translation by the interpreter. If you want to be understood, you can either try to be clearer or give up on the responsibility of being understood. And if you give up on that responsibility, you cannot complain about the outcome of said communication.

        You’re either not paying attention, or not focused on me enough to hear what I’m saying

        This is an extremely narcissistic way to view relationships: if I’m not focused on you it means that I
        A) have something more important to think about
        B) I have not understood the gravity of the situation and that can be corrected
        Of course if I think something trivial is more important than you it might be a problem, but this is hardly ever the case

        now I’m mad enough that I fear I will start an argument if I need to spell it out again

        Not talking about it is a wonderful way to start a bigger, heavier argument later

  • jballs@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    11·
    2 days ago

    Harriet.

    Harry-ette.

    Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis.

    Beautiful, bemuse-ed, bellicose butcher.

    Un-trust

    … ing.

    Un-know

    … ing.

    Un-love

    … ed?

    “He wants you back,” he screamed into the night air like a fireman going to a window that has no fire

    … except the passion of his heart.

    I am lonely.

    It’s really hard.

    This poem

    … sucks.

  • 1984@lemmy.today
    291·
    2 days ago

    Lol :)

    I have the other way around, im with a woman who talks all the time and is bad at listening.